Sound familiar? Well it should, because this probably has crossed your mind more than you’d like to admit. This by far has to be one of the most sucky problems of all.
When the problem is some inanimate object, or difficult situation, then it’s usually easy to fix the inanimate object, or try to change the direction of a situation.
However, when dealing with difficult people changing that person requires their willingness to change.
Trying to “fix” a person is nearly impossible, and changing your situation with problem people often is not in your ability.
For example, if you can’t get along with a fellow worker then getting them fired would be inappropriate. Having them moved would be up to the boss. Just ignoring them never gives true peace, because they are still near you every day.
Difficult People, What Can I Do?
When dealing with difficult people there is no hard and fast rules only general principles.
1. We must identify –
What it is that bothers us about these difficult people. We MUST be willing to look at ourselves first and determine our role in the situation.
2. It’s best to start –
Writing down everything that they do that bothers you, even if it seems small. When dealing with difficult people it’s not the big things but often the small nuances that bother us. So trying to narrow it down to concrete areas makes them easier to address.
3. Now spend a few days –
Or weeks meditating on these, and brainstorm possible solutions. Put them in writing so its easy to visualize.
4. The last thing –
When dealing with difficult people, try to reconcile our differences.
- The best time to do this is when they are not distracted, or seem to be in a better mood, and when they are alone.
- Do not bring “back up” with you, or when others are around, and especially don’t go if you are in a confrontational mood.
- The key is to stay humble, open, and willing to work with the other person.
- Always start with the obvious, and state clearly that you are aware of your differences, but are willing to make any changes with them so you can get along.
- This doesn’t mean they have to be your best friend. It does mean that you can work together without setting each other off or “ruining each other’s day”.
- If this doesn’t work try bringing in someone you both respect to help out. If it still doesn’t work try bringing it to the management, mutual friends or go for consultation or professional advice.
Dealing With Difficult People: Conclusion
Remember, there are no hard and fast rules for dealing with difficult people, other than someone needs to be the first to be ready or available to make a difference. It might as well be you.