We all need to learn how to respond and not react. And, there’s no better time to do so than during a pandemic. So, first, let’s look at the difference between the two.
According to Webster’s and Cambridge Dictionary: Reaction = Resistance or opposition to a force influence or movement. Something you say, feel, or do because of something that has happened. Basically, a reaction is our initial response to an outside influence. For this article, a reaction is like instinct. Things we do without really thinking it through.
Response = Something constituting a reply, such as – the activity or inhibition of the previous activity of an organism or any of its parts resulting from stimulation. An answer (or reaction) to something that has been said or done. Thus, a response indicates a more thought-out reply or answer to an outside stimulus. For our purposes, a response is when we use our own ability to reason things out before we respond.
Reaction Versus Response
A sign of immaturity is when people react out of instinct to respond to events around them. Like a knee-jerk reaction when things unexpected happen. When we live our life reactionary, we tend to respond to things automatically. Our reactions are more reflexive and reciprocal. Like the involuntary movement of our muscles, or an emotional outburst when we are hurt.
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We can learn to be responsive when we take into consideration what kind of outcome we desire. A response considers our surroundings, societal expectations, context, and the consequences of our actions over the long term. Living our life responsively takes more nuance and time, but often leads to a more productive outcome. So how do we respond and not react?
Reacting is emotional while responding is emotional intelligence.
5 things that indicate you’re probably reacting and not responding
- Everything is urgent and you feel your back is often against the wall.
- Your schedule is constantly evolving or being manipulated by outside influences.
- People easily manipulate you and your emotions seem out of control.
- You feel like no one can help you and you’re all on your own.
- Deadlines control your every waking hour.
How to respond and not react
- Slow down and think things through. Reaction comes easy when we’re under pressure. It’s hard to respond when emotions run wild. It requires time to consider the various factors of any circumstance before we respond. Remember, its ok to make people wait a bit.
- Take control of your schedule. Stop living day by day and break out your yearly calendar. You are in control of your own schedule. So, start acting like it.
- Set goals that you can reach without relying on others. Responding requires the ability to control what goes on around us. When we start working on our own goals, we take control of our life. For more information Visit our Goal Setting Guides
- Stop and breath again. Take time to enjoy each day. Pause and reflect on the good things in your life. Slow down and focus on regaining control one step at a time.
- People count on you, but don’t control you. We are not an island unto ourselves and we are all responsible to someone somewhere. Yet if we become sickly and stressed trying to keep everyone happy, we will eventually help no one.
Now let’s look at some Lessons Learned from Covid 19:
Response: We don’t need any stinking masks.
Reaction: Sorry I just said that because I was reacting to a mask shortage.
Dr. Fauci’s initial response to masks on March 8, 2020, was noted by Reuters saying, “there’s no reason to be walking around in a mask”. A few months later Dr. Fauci’s said his view was just a knee-jerk reaction to a mask shortage. Here’s the Washington Post quote “at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, masks were not recommended for the general public, as authorities were trying to prevent a mask shortage for health workers and the extent of asymptomatic spread was unknown.”
Response: Stop the spread from the source.
Reaction: You’re a racist.
To me, President Trump’s first response seemed well reasoned on Jan 31 when he restricted entry into the US from China (the known origin). But the knee-jerk reaction from the opposing party and press was to call him a racist and bigot for doing so.
Response: We need to limit the spread so let’s close everything down.
Reaction: But people need essential services, you know like Walmart, Costco, McDonald’s, Chevron, Kroger, and Home Depot.
I find it amazing that somehow only the larger corporations were deemed essential. Things like small retailers and shopping centers, bodegas, restaurants, gyms, bowling alleys, spas, museums, sporting events et.al were not. They say follow the money – Wall Street spent a record 2.9 billion on political contributions and lobbying in 2019 and 2020…
Response: Don’t worry, this too shall pass.
Reaction: We can’t really tell them what’s going on because it might cause a panic.
We all know politicians lie and often hold back information. But when it comes to a pandemic, this should not be the case. President Trump apparently held back pertinent pandemic information when he was recorded saying “I always wanted to play it down”, and “I just don’t want to jump up and down screaming, Death Death”. I guess he just couldn’t find the right superlative to provide a realistic perspective of the pandemic.
Response: Politicians making mandates for the good of the people
Reaction: We don’t have to follow our own rules.
So far 75 government officials have been busted breaking the very rules they set.
Recently DC Mayor Bowser set a mask mandate for all of DC. The problem is she set the date for midnight the evening she was to officiate a wedding. Apparently, the urgency of the pandemic required a mask mandate, but not before she and her friends could enjoy a mask-less celebration the night before.
Let’s not forget about – California Governor Newsom, House Speaker Pelosi, Rep. Talib, Denver Mayor Hancock, Michigan Gov. Whitman, San Jose Mayor Liccardo, Austin Mayor Alder, NY Mayor Cuomo, LA Supervisor Kuehl, and Chicago Mayor Lightfoot all photographed breaking mask mandates, travel restrictions, social distancing ordinances, indoor and outdoor dining mandates and having services rendered illegal for us “normal citizens”.
These are just a few examples of how anyone can let their initial reaction to a situation get in the way of a true response. Through all this, I’m sure you could come up with a few of your own.