Finding our soul mate often comes when we stop looking. Well, at least that’s how the saying goes. This may not be completely accurate, but desperation is hardly an attractive feature.
Yet one could hardly blame people for trying. Especially when you look at current research on romantic love and its effect on long-term happiness. A few years ago, I stumbled upon an article entitled, Romantic Love = Greater Long-term Happiness written by John M. Grohol of Sychcentral.com.
Here is a shortened version
“Contrary to popular opinion, it appears that romance doesn’t have to die a natural death in a long-term relationship. In a meta-analysis review of 25 studies with 6,070 individuals in short- and long-term relationships published last week, researchers set out to find out whether romantic love is associated with greater relationship satisfaction…”
The researchers found that those who reported greater romantic love were more satisfied in both the short- and long-term relationships.
“Perhaps not surprisingly, those who reported greater passionate love in their relationships were more satisfied in the short-term compared to the long-term. Companion-like love, on the other hand, was only moderately associated with satisfaction in both short- and long-term relationships.
What’s the secret?… “Their relationship is something that is very central to their lives, something they spend time on, work on, really care about. They seem to resolve conflicts relatively efficiently and smoothly.”
Other studies on building strong, romantic relationships also suggest the following may help:
• Continue exploring and engaging in new activities and opportunities with one another.
• Resolve conflicts as they occur, respectfully; don’t let conflicts simmer and build into something bigger over time.
• Find something challenging to do together; a shared challenge can help bring you closer together if you work as a team.
• Feeling that your partner is “there for you” is invaluable for a good relationship.
• Guard against insecurity, as it can lead to spark relationship problems that otherwise wouldn’t exist.”
Here’s a link to full article: Romance Can Be Maintained in Long-term Relationships.
I don’t know about you, but I think this is something everyone striving to find happiness and fulfillment should want to obtain. I firmly believe that romantic love equals true happiness, because it’s one of the strongest drives of human nature.
I just wish there was some ‘works-every-time’ advice I could give those still trying to find someone to love….